A while back I did a post on discovering our love languages. We discovered many things through that test, but most importantly, we discovered that we are different people who love and hate different things, receive and give love differently, and are completely opposite (what?!).
We (I) also discovered that getting to know those parts of ourselves (myself) was an important step to take before trying to figure each other (the fiance) out.
We took tests - fun tests. We took the Myers-Briggs personality test (to which our complementary personalities describe us to a T), a love languages test, and a spiritual gifts test (thanks to our church staff retreat back in 2009). Each of these tests played a significant role in helping us figure out who we were - way before we tried to figure out who we were in relationship to each other.
When the fiance and I first met, we were hired to be interns for a youth ministry. We were basically paid to hang out with high schoolers (best job ever - hollaaaa). The following year, we were back and hired to be...not interns. It was probably the hardest thing I did that year (that and having to bleach half of my hair to dye it blue because I lost a bet for a fundraising event). We suddenly found ourselves in charge (ahh!) and kind of lost in these huge shoes to fill. Through the craziness of the summer and all its programming, I discovered that I had so much to work on about myself - emotionally, spiritually - before I could even pretend to understand another person.
So first came friendship, then came frustration. Then we started with those tests I was talking about earlier. And spent a lot of time in prayer (partially because I needed it, but also because the fiance was secretly praying that I would start having a change of character! God does answer prayers!).
Then we discovered the other wasn't so bad after all.
In fact, we found each other to be quite eye-catching.
When I look back at "our story", I start here. I start at a time in our lives where we didn't get along because we didn't understand how our own person could have strengths and weaknesses to be balanced out by another. I look back at those few months and I am so thankful for having to learn the hard way how to love and respect the fiance as a God-loved, God-created person.
Who we are together isn't perfect. We are far from a perfect couple.
But what we have discovered is that it is worth taking the time to find out about yourself, and it is worth taking the time to work on yourself - before working on someone else.
So that's where we started.
Where we're going is coming up next.