The Extraordinary Life Of A Nobody

(I've been mulling over this idea that we're all nobodies - we are all people who don't really mean anything to anyone - until we realize we are made a "somebody" when we acknowledge that Someone put us on this earth to do much more than we could ever imagine...)

It all started when I read this book in one afternoon at the beach. There's something about the stories my friend Bob writes about in his book (I can call him friend - I texted him once and he replied #truestory) that are both absolutely insane and insanely beautiful at the same time. The whole time I read his book my brain was exploding - "who is this guy?!"/"people have lives like that?!?!"/"he's not a fictional character?!?!?!"/"is this real life?!?!?!?!"

Then I was reading along with my community of women a couple of days ago (and men too, I guess, if they're into the truths I've been rediscovering daily through their devotionals) and read about this awesome man named Shallun who lived a long time ago during the 'boring parts of the Old Testament' that was a nobody-turned-somebody when his commitment to the rebuilding of the wall of Jerusalem put him in a bigger story with Jesus of the New Testament when he didn't even know it. (Spark notes: Nehemiah writes of Shallun repairing the wall of the Pool of Siloam, which is the same place Jesus sends a blind man to wash off mud from his eyes to receive sight in John 9 #thatjusthappened)

And then this thought occurred to me: what if I lived my life like I was a nobody?

It's so easy to be a "somebody" in this day-and-age. We have Facebook and Instagram and Twitter and Vine to make us look like we're the biggest 'somebody' anyone could ever meet/have in their life/call bestie. Do we really think we're that important? If we pulled up your Vine videos 20 years from now, would we look back on your short 6-second documentary life and say, "Oh yeah, that's really somebody! Look at all the a-m-a-z-i-n-g things they did with their life in these 6-second clips!"

Would we? Really?

We are so consumed by what people think of us*, because if people don't think good things of us (or worse - if people don't think anything about us), that must mean we're missing something...missing something that makes us special or that we're missing that indescribable 'thing' that we need to make us important in people's lives so that they'll talk about us (in a good way) when we're not with them. We want people to know and feel and believe that we're worth their time, worth their friendship, worth their love, worth their acceptance.

But then there's this thing that I always seem to forget about, and it's kind of a big deal when I start remembering it: there's this story (although after being confronted by Andy Stanley over the word 'story', I don't really mean 'story', more like "there's this historical fact"...) about a God who created every one of us uniquely (uniquely! we have forgotten how awesome this word is...) and a God who loves us so much that He sent his perfect Son to come to our mess and save us from ourselves. Because He thought we were special - back in the garden - and He STILL thinks we're special now (even with our self-absorbed 140 characters and our perfectly-chosen filters of nothing/everything).

If I really think about it, I've already been made a somebody by the only One who is worthy of calling me "somebody". Y'all, I don't know about you but that's reallyreallyreallyreallyREALLY freeing.

The moment I think I'm a somebody, the fear of fitting in or the fear of disappointing sinners will overwhelm me to the point of inaction. When I know that I'm a nobody, the world is literally my oyster (ok not literally, as we all know the Earth is not an oyster...and if this is a new fact for you, you're welcome).  I'll do whatever it takes to show others that I love and care for them, because I'm not bound by the shackles of expectations or my reputation to act on my morals and beliefs. It means that if I see something wrong, I will speak up, even if it makes me unpopular (you can't be a 'somebody' and unpopular at the same time...unless you're the popular unpopular nobody that everyone knows about...). It means that  I might quit my job and say goodbye to my kingdom plan because I have felt and heard God's call to serve Him and His kingdom plan. It means that being a nobody frees me to be the somebody God has called me to be, because I trust in His plan for me, I accept His love for me, and I cling to His thoughts of me.

The world is filled with nobodies. We know about them now because they followed their nobody calling and their nobody calling resulted in an extraordinary thing - but if we had known them then, well, we wouldn't have know about them then. Nobodies like Katie Davis who followed God's call to serve the least of these in Uganda when she was 18 years old and now finds herself the mother to 13 girls. Nobodies like the missionaries I grew up with who serve the people of Northern Thailand, helping them translate the Bible into their native tongue word-for-word. Nobodies like Jim Elliot who did some insane things without fear, whose short life ushered in the amazing power of compassion and forgiveness for a tribe of people and has since impacted Christians to be fearless with their faith. My church is filled with nobodies too. The nobodies who show up to drop off filled backpacks for kids who need school supplies. The nobodies who sew pillowcase dresses to send to foreign countries. The nobodies who serve our church community by reading to elementary school students and helping them with school work.

I hope you're not offended that I've chosen to call these amazing people nobodies. What I'm really trying to say is what Miss Davis said so eloquently when she she said this: "People tell me I am brave. People tell me I am strong. People tell me good job. Well here is the truth of it. I am really not that brave, I am not really that strong, and I am not doing anything spectacular. I am just doing what God called me to do as a follower of Him. Feed His sheep, do unto the least of His people."

Somebodies don't say stuff like that. Somebodies say stuff like this: "It’s what I came here to do. I’m now a legend. I’m also the greatest athlete to live."- Usain Bolt. And stuff like this: ""My best and worst 'Idol' moments? I don't have a worst 'Idol' moment. I've been spectacular. Yes, I am going to toot my own horn. And then my best moment is every single moment. I'll toot it again." - Nicki Minaj. Or stuff like this: "I'm sorry that people are so jealous of me... but I can't help it that I'm so popular." - Gretchen Weiners (ok so she's a fictional character, but I have definitely heard people say this in real life, so I think you get my point).

(Did any of this make any sense? Probably not.) All I have to say is this: The world is filled with too many somebodies. We don't need any more somebodies. We need more nobodies. Nobodies who are fearless and unencumbered by what others think of them or what others know of them. That's when crazy, insane, spectacular things start happening.

I want crazy, insane, and spectacular, don't you?

*I hope you know that whenever I say  "we" and "us" I really mean "I" and "me". Because, let's be honest, I am very guilty of everything I expressed in this post.

#SheReadsTruth

A couple of days ago, my dear friend tweeted: "@jnc should follow #shereadstruth through @Mama_Pea and @eatliverun on twitter and instagram"

...I love Twitter, and I also equally (that's a lie, probably more) love Instagram - girlfriend's tweet got me hooked. I quickly got on the internets and used the Google machine to do some research.

#SheReadsTruth is, as they put it simply, "women reading His truth together." It started with two friends who wanted to pursue the Lord together through His word. They started tweeting about it, people started asking...and then #SheReadsTruth was born.

Fast forward to today. They are starting a new plan called "Living The Surrendered Life" through YouVersion (accessible through app for your smartphone or online). Women all over are reading through the same passages of scripture and reading through the same devotional for the next 21 days and, as my friend put it in her email, "going to go for it and see where it takes me". Then, they are using social media to tweet and/or Instagram their journey, using the hashtag #shereadstruth to share what they're learning/what they believe the Lord is showing them.

I joined the adventure with their new plan today, and just in the first two lines of the devotional I was already convicted. I can't wait to see how the Lord continues to challenge me in the next couple of weeks.

Are you looking for a different way to be challenged in your growth this summer? Are you seeking fellowship with other women but don't know where to start? Join me and #shereadstruth and leave me a comment so I know you're doing it too!

The "B" word: Part 2

Thank the Lord for internet. Without it, I would probably be knee-deep in library books in the "finances" section reading the "How-to for Dummys" book about budgeting our shared income. We already decided that we're going to try and live off of the 'earn-one, bank-one' lifestyle to help us live simply while also making sure we have the appropriate savings for emergencies/future. In anticipation for our new financial situation, and in post-wedding bliss, we have attempted to figure out the following categories in ways that make the most sense, while also saving us the most money.

Savings. Currently our savings account consists of the 60% we saved from wedding monetary gifts and the entirety of my bank account from my single days. Thankfully, it is more than the $1,000 Dave Ramsey suggests in his "Baby Steps" towards financial peace. It's always a good idea to save, and to have money saved up that could cover 3-6 months of expenses in case of emergencies. You never know when something might happen that requires the need for flexible monetary income. Being smart about saving now can help ease the stress and financial pain it might be to scrounge for money last minute. We're just getting started (Ramsey doesn't call it 'baby steps' for no reason), once we get two-incomes into this family, we'll be trucking right along with our earn-one, bank-one mantra!

Gift cards. Love. them. Love the fact that I can go to a store, shop, and then never pull out cash or my debit card to pay for my shopping trip. I also love gift cards because they sometimes allow me to shop at places that I wouldn't usually shop at. Example: Starbucks. I don't really even enjoy coffee, but when I do, I don't wan to pay an arm and a leg for what I call coffee (others call it caramel frappuccinos). The only thing that sometimes frustrates me about gift cards, though, is that I can never use the exact amount. I'm usually a couple dollars short from spending it all, or a couple dollars over. Overspending your gift card can add up in the long run, so I usually make sure I stay under.

"But Jocelyn", you may ask, "what do you do with the $3.16* you have left over on your card?" Thankfully, I am not the only one in the entire world who has a little money here and there left on a gift card. Someone else along the way got annoyed appalled at the amount Americans 'waste' by not using up all of our gift card balances, that they have done something about it. Enter GiftCardGiver.com - where you can mail them your remaining gift card money and they accumulate cards together to send to organizations that can use your gift card to bless others. Yeah, us humans can be pretty resourceful when we try.

(For those of you who gave us gift cards: please know that I'm the crazy lady that says "Thank You!" and "cha-CHING" to herself whenever she swipes her gift card at the checkout line. That audible 'thank you' is said in your direction, not to the check-out guy who thinks I'm crazy)

*True story: I once did have $3.16 left over on a card, and immediately thought of Tim Tebow #whatishappeningwithmybrain


Groceries. I moved into our house, which was previously inhabited by a 25-year-old male bachelor, my now husband. What does that mean? 3 bags of Pasta Sides, a pitcher of Tang, a bag of frozen wings, and enough Hot Pockets to last a lifetime - that's what it means. When I asked him about what his food budget had been, he gave me a blank stare then laughed and said "what?!?!?!". I decided that the first time I went to the grocery story, I would not worry about a budget. Instead, I would worry about how to stock my pantry with staples that could make multiple meals with simple ingredients. My favorite things to purchase at the grocery store (especially when they are on sale): pasta, pasta sauce (marinara & pesto), chicken broth, and frozen vegetables. I have made many a meal with those ingredients - pizza, fried rice, casseroles.


Buying in bulk. One of the many gift cards we received was a gift card to Sams Club. We set aside some time one Sunday afternoon after church and made a special grocery shopping trip to Sams (complete with a great slice of pizza and a Nathan's hot dog). What did we buy? Toilet paper, paper towels, shampoo, body wash, cereal and chicken breasts (among other things). Two of those items have been pre-approved by Dave Ramsey's 'worth the splurge' list, so that was reassuring. As for the chicken, I portioned them out (2 breasts per ziploc bag), dated the bag, and put it in the freezer. Now we have chicken for meals without having to thaw too many over and over again. (Curious about what things you should buy in bulk? Read more here, here and here!)

This is just a start. People say you have to give yourself 2-3 months to get into the swing of living on a budget/within your budget means. We will update you once we feel like we have some sort of footing in our finances!

What about you? What do you do to save some money? What are some smart things you have done with your money that have paid off big-time? Any shopping tips?

The "B" word: Part 1

Budget [buhj-it] noun, adjective, verb, noun: an itemized allotment of funds, time, etc for a given period; the total sum of money set aside or needed for a purpose.

A while back I posted about our plans to live smart and responsibly with our finances. As we were anticipating our new life together as husband and wife, we had to come to the realization that our finances would also be making the merge with us (eek!). During pre-marital counseling, one of our homework assignments was to show each other our monies. Never before had I ever shown anyone my enormous laughable bank account, because up until that point the only one I had to worry about was myself. It was a very humbling experience for me, because I came to the realization that I needed to be smarter and more conscientious about where my money was going and how my money was being spent.

Fast forward to a couple of months ago. As engagement parties came rolling through, we were confronted with the task of being responsible for managing our monetary gifts. I don't know how or why (actually I do know - God), but we sat down one day and discussed where we wanted to see our money going and how much we wanted to portion out for different things. Before we even started receiving money, we decided on a percentage breakdown, and even prayed over it (when you don't have a lot of money, putting non-existent money into a category requires a lot of faith!). Looking back, I am really glad we did this before we knew how much money we would be getting. By doing so, we were able to figure out where our priorities were without the influence of a bottom-line money amount that could have made us feel like we had more to keep and spend on ourselves.

The first thing we wanted to do was to give back. We have been blessed countless times by the generosity of both friends and strangers, as they selflessly gave to us when we did/do not deserve it. Throughout our engagement, we experienced overabundant expressions of grace and love. Thus, when it came time to figure out what to do with all the monetary gifts we were receiving, we only saw it fitting to give back to a cause that we believed in. We regularly tithe 10% of our earnings, so we followed suit and carried the 10% over to OFCB Ministries and their work in Bayonnais, Haiti. (Side note: we were able to visit OFCB in 2009 and our church continues to send teams there every year. They are currently in the process of building a new medical center, and we could not be more excited to support them as they continue to be a blessing to their neighbors). While 10% may not be a lot now, we are excited that our money apportioned to be saved now will allow us to donate our money in similar fashions in the future. As my father-in-law always says, we only need faith of a mustard seed...God will do the rest!

Saving vs. Checking. I'm a checking's-kind-of-girl; "if I earned it, I can spend it!" My husband's the mascot for saving; "...maybe if I squeeze the bills I have saved, more money will flow out". But when it came down to it, we made the realization that 1. I don't have a lot of money saved up/to contribute, and 2. I don't have a job lined up. Thus, we decided that at this period of time in our life, our money gifted to us would be better off saved than spent (60% to savings, 30% to checking). And thank God we decided that -- because now the burden of rushing to find a job has been lifted off my shoulders and I have been gifted some time to settle in and try out my new legs as a Mrs.!

We will still struggle with money and budgeting (our #1 point of tension in our relationship, thanks to the results of our pre-marital counseling questionnaire). But thanks to the generosity of friends and family, we have been given a very strong foundation from which we can grow into a life of simplicity, generosity, and hospitality.

Up next: how we're budgeting our spending money, and how we've already started spending it!

Fighting Fair

Living long distance means we talk a lot over the phone. Talking a lot over the phone means we lose some of the clues we would normally get if we were looking at the person; if they were tired (bags under the eyes), if they were joking (smirk on the face), if they were mad (angry eyes).

We don't Skype; that was weird. Why look at someone when you can't touch them? Such a taunting game, and I lose every time. We tired it once and spent the majority of the five minutes being bashful and making funny faces and not actually talking. Never again.

Fighting - it happens in relationships. And it definitely happens when you're planning a wedding. And it even more 'definitely happens' when you're long-distancing it and planning a wedding.

So the fiance and I sometimes find ourselves talking about something funny and then all of a sudden I am raising my voice and crying. In the last few months, we have had some less-than-pleasant conversations and have had to learn the hard way how to talk about problems in a non-threatening way.

The fiance learned that in order to make our conversations go smoothly, he needs to keep me informed about details as they come up, not bring them all up at once. When he doesn't do that, I perceive them to be a bunch of problems thrown at me all at once - like when you're trying to slice all the fruit in Fruit Ninja on xBox Kinect...sometimes overwhelming and impossible and leaves you exhausted and sweating profusely (no? just me?).

I learned that in order to make our conversations go smoothly, I need to turn down my controlling nature (oopsies) and stop acting like a soap opera star with all the dramatic tantrums. When I don't do that, the fiance gets upset and frustrated at me and I get upset easily and usually break down into tears because I'm a girl. Just kidding! I usually break down into tears because I'm frustrated that I can't fix things right away.

Learning how to fight fair means learning how you fight the right way. How do you react to someone being rude to you? How do you react when your parents boss you around? How do you act when someone gives you constructive criticism? It is easier to get angry faster at the ones you love. If you can practice being nice and even-tempered with others, you will learn how to do the same with your loved one.

Or you could try fighting in whispers. I've been told it works, and usually ends up in a big, ridiculous, laughter-fest.